Mourning a Love Lost

Funeral Blues

W. H. Auden

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crêpe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

W. H. Auden reveals in his poem “Funeral Blues” a sensation for death, seclusion, desolateness and yearning. The poem is about the loss of a lover whether it was due to death, or just the end of a relationship is irrelevant. Auden uses a transition within four stanzas from grief before a funeral, through the funeral, following the funeral, and the solitude and anguish that is associated with it.

In the first stanza, Auden expresses the harsh reality of dealing with the pain one feels after a loved one has died. Routine everyday events of life become unbearable due to the sorrow that overcomes you. What seem to be typical events, for instance; clocks ticking, telephones ringing, dogs barking, and pianos playing are no longer permissible. Auden’s intention is to make events that customarily have nothing to do with death seem to signify it unquestionably. With the ambiance of these expressions, Auden is able to expose the reader to comprehend fully the magnitude of the speakers sorrow.

Auden permits aeroplanes to moan overhead, public doves to wear black bows, and policemen to wear black cotton gloves as they direct traffic. “These images insist that everyone share in this person's loss because not only has the speaker lost someone very special, essentially, so has the world” (Kushner). It is understandable to feel compassion for the speaker’s loss because similarly we have felt a loss that was unimaginable that even represented a great loss for even the world.

In the third stanza, Auden suggests that the deceased man means everything to the speaker, that he was his Raison d’être. The deceased man encompasses the speaker’s life, which he implies as he calls him “my North, my South, my East and West” and “my working week and my Sunday rest” (Auden). I can empathize with the speaker the magnitude in which someone can affect your existence. My life would have no significance without my husband absorbed within it. Through Auden’s choice of words, we can conceive the loss as excruciating and unthinkable. “Auden wanted to convey that this man was the central element of the speaker's life, that no matter the direction he turned, no matter the hour, this man was there” (Kushner). This man portrays love in the speaker’s life and when the pain and realization sets in he realizes he was wrong when he thought “that love would last forever” (Auden).

In the final stanza, we sense hollowness and bitterness when the speaker declares all of Gods creations are no longer needed. The deceased man symbolizes the speaker’s existence and with the loss so excruciating he no longer feels that life could go on with any meaning. Auden compares this indication through the speaker’s words “pack up the moon,” “dismantle the sun,” “pour away the ocean,” and “sweep up the wood” (Auden).

“Removing these objects would no longer have an impact on his life, but others would then be able to grasp the enormity of his sorrow” (Kushner). Auden conveys the harsh despairing loneliness that overcomes you during the mourning of a loss and the extent the loss has on the survivor and the world.

Aviya Kushner, Overview of "Funeral Blues," Poetry for Students, Vol. 10, The Gale Group, 2001.

Auden, W. H.. “Funeral Blues.” Poetry X. Ed. Jough Dempsey. 16 Jun 2003. 27 Apr. 2007 .

Colorblind

By Counting Crows

Written by Adam F. Duritz

I am color...blind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am ready
I am ready
I am
taffy stuck, tongue tied
Stuttered shook and uptight
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am ready
I am ready
I am...fine
I am covered in skin
No one gets to come in
Pull me out from inside
I am folded, and unfolded, and unfolding
I am
colorblind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am ready
I am ready
I am...fine
I am.... fine
I am fine

In the song “Colorblind” by the counting crows, it portrays unsureness within a relationship to open themselves up to vulnerability. A plea for someone they can trust to open him or her up to achieve the life they wish to have. It is difficult to be yourself, though it seems a simple perception. Fear of intimacy involves the unwillingness to open up and expose your true self. At some point in our lives, we each have experienced some type of betrayal and hurt from someone close to us. The pain caused by each betrayal and hurt it makes it harder to open ourselves up again regardless whether it was unintentional or not.

The statement “coffee black and egg white” explores the extremes of the depressed hopelessness he feels towards the lack of richness and fulfillment in his life. This expression about coffee and eggs represents what is on the surface allowed for everyone plainly to see. There is richness beyond what is on the surface waiting to be revealed. I am empathetic for this person because I have felt this way before. The sorrow is what you fell knowing that no one understands who you are or the emptiness you feel with the lack of intimacy towards someone. Our longing for that deep emotional connection with someone is expresses when Counting Crows states “pull me out from inside, I am ready” (Counting Crows).

In relationships the paralyzing fear of the unknown can cause you to become “taffy stuck, tongue tied, shuttered shook and uptight” (Counting Crows). This equates to a newly blossoming relationship where the boundaries of trust are being tested to a more mature relationship transcending to the next step of a deeper understanding of love, the possibility of marriage. Though we may want someone we can fully trust and be open with, we put up defenses that make it more difficult to open up. The further the relationship develops the more trusting and open you become as stated by Counting Crows, “I am folded, and unfolded, and unfolding” (Counting Crows). Not everyone expresses himself or herself the same way. The lyrics of this song explores the intense nature

The lyrics of this song explore the intense nature of someone that was emotional hurt in some way and their struggle to expose themselves once more. Tough we put up our defenses “I am covered in skin, no one gets to come in” we still desire for someone to “pull me out from inside” (Counting Crows). Allowing another person to glimpse into us, revealing who we are with this person is the transition from when we are ready to open ourselves to the recognition of “I am fine” (Counting Crows).

Colorblind through just a few simple words symbolizes a journey of trust. From the beginning seeing just the extremes on the surface we allow to be seen to the uncovering of our emotions that we allow to unfold. In the end, the realizations that you are fine come when you come to terms with yourself and are ready to open yourself to vulnerability again.

Counting Crows. Colorblind. This Desert Life. Emi Blackwood Music Inc, 1999.

Dreams Based on Nightmares

The American dream has many different definitions for each person within our land of freedom. The dream is the joie de vivre for each American to believe in themselves with unlimited possibilities. In Norman Mailer’s “An American Dream” Rojack had what seemed to be the American dream but turned out to be just an illusion. Mailer’s analysis of the annoyances and desires that lay underneath hidden within society are intensely depicted through the life of Rojack.

Rojack first seems like the perfect man living the perfect American dream that everyone wishes upon himself or herself. His American dream represented as a prominent man in society, decorated war hero, having many connections with famous politicians, Congressman and even married a woman from a wealthy family. However, what seemed to be the picture perfect life Rojack expressed “I had come to the end of a very long street. Call it an avenue. For I had come to decide I was finally a failure” (Mailer 15). “An American Dream, whose central character (Stephen Richards Rojack) transcends his disgust for American life, its persistent manhandling of him, by developing heightened sensuous and muscular powers” (Weber). Rojack’s acrimonious relationship with his wife, Deborah, he begins to develop a deep seeded hatred towards her.

They separate after several long years of marriage. Even through the separation, Deborah still has control over Rojack’s life, which he finally grasps. “So I hated her, yes indeed I did, but my hatred was a cage which wired my love, and I did not know if I had the force to find my way free. Marriage to her was the armature of my ego; remove the armature and I might topple like clay” (Mailer 23) “Like the typical romantic hero, Rojack seeks to free himself from society and its stultifications; he has been tainted by society, however, and his spirit is also corrupt by virtue of his humanity” (Weber). Feeling alone and bitter Rojack heads over to Deborah’s place with the afterthoughts of suicide swarming through his head. With insults and tempers flaring it is at this moment that Rojack becomes a vile callous murderer.

Directly after murdering his wife Rojack makes love to his wife’s butler, Ruta. Then he concocts a story about how his wife committed suicide that he tries to pawn of to Ruta and the detectives. Guilt begins to seep in when Rojack thinks, "I had a reverie of my own death then, and my soul was trying to lift and loose itself of the body which has died. I felt guilty for the first time. It was a crime to have pushed Deborah to the morgue" (Mailer 76). Now Rojack is free from the suffocation of his marriage and ultimately his life that suppressed him for so many years with a false sense of happiness. “The official American dream, that hyper-conglomerate of success, salesmanship, health, and wealth which produces row on row of mannequins. Scratch the glossy surface of a contented mannequin and it bleeds a different kind of American dream, "a subterranean river of untapped, ferocious, lonely and romantic desires, that concentration of ecstasy and violence which is the dream life of the nation” (Weber).

After the interrogation from the detectives ends, Rojack meets a woman named Cherry. Rojack instantly is drawn to her as he has never felt before and does not comprehend why. A connection immediately forms. Through the safety he felt with her he confesses to the murder of his wife and Cherry still shows Rojack that she still loves him. After leaving Cherry, Rojack has to face his father-in-law, Kelly. Kelly advised that he has stopped the investigation of his daughter’s death to Rojack because of her involvement with foreign spies. Directly asked whether he had anything to do with her death, Rojack confesses to the murder to Kelly. Kelly informs him that he will not turn him in but he had to walk around the edge of the hotel in order to survive.

With each step that Rojack takes he become conscious of everything he has done. Kelly attempts to force him down but Rojack prevails and escapes unscathed and free. “Such, Mailer wants us to believe, is the real if unacknowledged "American dream" (Kimball). Rojack was able to perpetrate the ideal crime and still gain exoneration. Through Mailer’s novel, it can be believed that Rojack achieved in the end the true American dream. "Mailer has written a disturbing existential novel; it is by no means accidental that the "existential psychology" of his hero revolves around "the thesis that magic, dread, and the perception of death [are] the roots of motivation" (Weber).

Weber, Brom. “A Fear of Dying: Norman Mailer’s An American Dream.” The Hollins Critic 2. (1965): Literature Resource Center June 1965. http://infotrac.galegroup.com.

Kimball, Roger. "Norman Mailer's American dream." New Criterion 16.3 (1997): 4. Academic Search Premier. 7 April 2007. http://search.ebscohost.com.

Mailer, Norman. An American Dream. New York: Dell Publishing, 1966.

Norman Mailer: An Annotated Bibliography

Weber, Brom. “A Fear of Dying: Norman Mailer’s An American Dream.” The Hollins Critic 2. (1965): Literature Resource Center June 1965. http://infotrac.galegroup.com.

Mailers antipathy for American life is critically viewed through the central character Stephen Richards Rojack. Through Rojacks experiences, it seems that Mailer does not anticipate any type of appeasement towards American Life. It goes further into discussion of Mailer’s views towards American culture and the de-individualism of man from society. Rojack’s life is compared to medieval Europe were ultimately God and the Devil fight for his soul and in the end it is hard to tell who ultimately won. Weber processed to show that Rojacks killing his wife was his own way of individual freedom of the failure he now perceives as his life. The perception Rojack has on his experiences is deemed the most important aspect of the viability of the novel.

Kimball, Roger. "Norman Mailer's American dream." New Criterion 16.3 (1997): 4. Academic Search Premier. 7 April 2007. http://search.ebscohost.com.

Kimball reflects on Mailer’s life related to the study of America’s Cultural Revolution. Mailers first novel “The Naked and the Dead” is criticized as being downright embarrassing yet he received wealth and celebrity from this novel. Throughout this critique on Mailer, Kimball constantly expresses his contempt for Mailer and the confounding success his novels acclaimed. According to Kimball, all of Mailer’s novels were just written badly. He goes to state that in “An American Dream” Rojack getting away with murdering his wife is the unrecognized American Dream. Mailers sex obsession is explored and criticized starting with Marilyn Monroe’s picture book. It goes on to say that his descriptions of sex are a disgrace. Kimball concludes to say that Mailer’s importance to America’s Cultural Revolution was because people actually took this man seriously.

McCann, Sean. "The imperiled republic: Norman Mailer and the poetics of anti-liberalism." ELH 67.1 (2000): 293. Academic Search Premier. 7 April 2007. http://search.ebscohost.com.

McCann begins comparing Mailers acclaimed novel “The Executioner’s Song” and Gilmore’s memoir of “Shot in the Dark.” Mailer focuses on “American virtue” related to the effects social institutions had on the execution of Gary Gilmore. Mikal Gilmore instead focuses on the effects that one heritage and bloodline had on the execution of Gary. McCann uses this comparison to show that Gilmore’s account is seem to be more accurate and that Mailer has gone out of style. McCann goes further to review Mailers view that his literary success was dependent on the political status of the nation at the time. “The Naked and the Dead” depicts American politics and mocks the liberal vision that American society viewed through vision of the war. McCann goes into detail of Mailers political views and his thoughts on the state America is in currently. To conclude McCann delves further on the political views of Mailer through “Ancient Evenings” where he reflects on political views and the escape of individualism from societies restraints.

The Wrath of Pride

“The Cask of Amontillado” is a classic story of pride, arrogance, ignorance and deceit. Edgar Allan Poe’s use of dark descriptions helps paint a dismal picture that ultimately leads the story’s victim, Fortunato, to the darkest place of all...his own crypt. Montresor, overcome with pride and a desire for revenge, seeks to end the life of his rival Fortunato. Montresor’s feelings of retribution and anger can be summed up by analyzing the story using Sigmund Freud’s psychoanalytic theory of personality, which involves categorizing the behaviors in regards to the id, ego, and superego that they demonstrate.

According to Freud, the id, ego, and superego are all traits that we all possess, beginning at birth. Our id begins in our first moments of life, and “is entirely unconscious and includes of the instinctive and primitive behaviors. According to Freud, the id is the source of all psychic energy, making it the primary component of personality.” (Van Wagner) The ego is a part of our psyche that tries to balance the impulse behaviors of the id. The ego “develops from the id and ensures that the impulses of the id can be expressed in a manner acceptable in the real world” (Van Wagner), and it “operates based on the reality principle, which strives to satisfy the id's desires in realistic and socially appropriate ways”. (Van Wagner) The superego is the center from which we develop our judgments of right and wrong, which is established from our morality that we learn from our parents and the society in which we live. The superego is the factor that “balances”, or suppresses the primal urges of the id and seeks to redirect the ego towards the most ideal decisions, rather than trying to rationalize our desire created by the id. These analytical devices serve to allow us to probe deeper into the minds of a madman and his unsuspecting victim, giving us a better view of the dementia that can be caused by a primal desire; stirred out of feelings that can not normally be explained by “sane” members of society.

Examples of the id resound throughout “The Cask of Amontillado”. The choice between life and death are basic human understandings. Montresor’s feelings regarding his decision to murder his “friend”, Fortunato, are evident when he states that “he did not perceive that my to smile now was at the thought of his immolation” (Poe 240). It would seem that Montresor had certainly lost the ability to rationalize that murder, under any circumstances, is wrong. Pride, another basic human personality trait, is lost upon the victim, Fortunato. Fortunato regards himself as a supreme wine critic, second to none, and upon finding out that Montresor has “gained” a cask of Amontillado, takes the notion upon himself to be its supreme judge. Montresor wittingly pleads to Fortunato not to go, that the catacombs in which it is kept are too dark and damp (which may ironically make Fortunato ill), and he cunningly plays to Fortunato’s pride in telling him that Luchresi (Fortunato’s rival) is considered by some to be an equally good critic of Amontillado. “"Let us go, nevertheless. The cold is merely nothing. Amontillado! You have been imposed upon. And as for Luchresi, he cannot distinguish Sherry from Amontillado” (Poe 241).

Montresor demonstrates his psychological ego from the very beginning of the tale. His efforts to reason and rationalize his actions as he reflects upon his relationship with Fortunato seem to serve as a plea to the reader to take his point of view. He realizes that the murder was wrong, but he seeks justification. When Montresor states, “THE thousand injuries of Fortunato I had borne as I best could, but when he ventured upon insult I vowed revenge”, he is reaching out to the reader by trying to make us believe that he had endured all that he could possibly take from Fortunato. However, in reality, what Fortunato had done to wrong Montresor is never revealed. Fortunato, on the other hand, seems to possess a reckless sort of ego, one that plunges him further into danger. Montresor uses a sort of “reverse” psychology, trying to deter Fortunato from going to the catacombs by explaining the damp and dismal conditions which may make him sick, and Fortunato just writes these notions off by saying, “"Let us go, nevertheless. The cold is merely nothing. Amontillado! You have been imposed upon. And as for Luchresi, he cannot distinguish Sherry from Amontillado" (Poe 241). Later, as the two characters march toward the “Amontillado”, the conditions and the “nitre” (a colorless mineral growing within the catacomb walls) cause Fortunato to endure a coughing fit. When Montresor advises that the two turn back, Fortunato responds by saying, “"Enough…the cough's a mere nothing; it will not kill me. I shall not die of a cough" (Poe 242). Fortunato’s ego clearly does not contribute to a rational, judgmental decision making process!

The use of the psychological superego in “The Cask of Amontillado” is not as clear as the use of the id and ego. Near the end of the story, it seems as if the reality of what Montresor has done begins to set in, and for a brief moment, he begins to feel remorse for his actions. Fortunato, although in somewhat of a drunken state, realizes the depths of his peril, and begins to try to reason with Montresor that Lady Fortunato will be waiting for them both, and that they should leave. Montresor agrees, and as they continue their dialogue, Fortunato suddenly becomes quiet. “But to these words I hearkened in vain for a reply. I grew impatient. I called aloud -- "Fortunato!" No answer. I called again -- "Fortunato!" No answer still. I thrust a torch through the remaining aperture and let it fall within. There came forth in return only a jingling of the bells. My heart grew sick; it was the dampness of the catacombs that made it so” (Poe 244). Montresor tries to rationalize that the dampness of the catacombs is making him feel ill, but actually, his superego was conjuring forth his moral view of the murder that he was committing.

In “The Cask of Amontillado”, Montresor vicariously tries to make the reader feel his frustration and sympathize that he had no other option but to end the life of Fortunato. The feeling to murder, driven by his id and rationalized by his ego, frighteningly paints him as some sort of medieval “monster”. He convinces his own superego that what he is committing is just; therefore acceptable and natural. Through the character of Montresor, Edgar Allan Poe demonstrates a natural sympathy and understanding of the criminal mind, using the most basic “animal” elements of human nature and cunningly twisting and evolving these bits and pieces into a masterful tale of vengeance, devised as if he were the killer himself.

Poe, Edgar Allan. “The Cask of Amontillado.” Reading and Writing about Literature. Ed. Sipiora, Phillip. Pearson Education, Inc, 2002. 240-244.

Van Wagner, Kendra. “The Id, Ego, and Superego: The Structural Model of Personality.” About. 1996. .

Suppressing the Blues

James Baldwin’s short story “Sonny’s Blues” deals with two brothers, searching for their identities in a brutal society and their ability to understand themselves. The narrator, Sonny’s brother, tries to pass his wisdom on to Sonny, suggesting staying in school and discouraging him from becoming a musician. Though their lives may have gone down two different paths, the brothers soon discover their lives are not as different as they thought. The narrator must first however grasp his disdain for Sonny’s chosen lifestyle.

The narrator, as a schoolteacher, lives a completely separate life from Sonny. Baldwin begins the story as the older brother reads the newspaper headline showing Sonny arrested for possession of heroin. As he reflection on the article he thought, “It was not to be believed and I kept telling myself that…at the same time I couldn’t doubt it…A great block of ice got settled in my belly and kept melting the slowly all day long…sending trickles of ice water all up and down my veins, but it never got less. Sometimes it hardened and seemed to expand until I felt my guts were going to come spilling out…This would always be at a moment when I was remembering some specific thing Sonny had said or done” (Baldwin 79). Upon learning of Sonny’s arrest a dreadful shock and sorrow overcomes the narrator, the “icy” feeling, and he attempts to deaden his concern for his brother’s future.

After the narrator finishes teaching his algebra class, he informs us “my clothes were wet – I may have looked as though I’d been sitting in a steam bath, all afternoon” (Baldwin 79-80). He is unable to cope with Sonny’s pain because he does not want pain in his own life. When he ultimately faces the loss of his little girl, who dies of polio, he finally writes to Sonny in prison. He attempts to connect with the only person that may comprehend this kind of suffering. When Sonny comes back home the narrator briefly feels the icy anxiety as he searches for any indication of drug abuse. The narrator is frightened of emotion, so when he starts to feel it he freezes up and hides the emotions inside. Sonny, however, is compelled to face his emotions head on, one way or another, whether through drugs or through music.

Baldwin implicates that Sonny became addicted to heroin due to the rage and distress contained within, him causing him to be unable to convey these emotions properly. It was easier to take drugs than to deal with his problems. Just as his older brother had difficulty confronting issues, Sonny reflects, “It's terrible sometimes, inside . . . that's what's the trouble. You walk these streets, …and there's no way of getting it out -- that storm inside. You can't talk it and you can't make love with it, and when you finally try to get with it and play it, you realize nobody's listening. So you've got to listen. You got to find a way to listen. . . . Sometimes you'll do anything to play, even cut your mother's throat" (Baldwin 95). The only time Sonny was able to extinguish these feelings was when he played the piano.

When the narrator goes to hear Sonny play at a jazz club, he finally grasped Sonny’s viewpoint of what he was going through. In order to recover and continue healing, Sonny had to place his whole soul, melodically, on the line. With the help from Creole, the bass player, “he wanted Sonny to leave the shoreline and strike out for the deep water. He was Sonny's witness that deep water and drowning were not the same thing -- he had been there, and he knew" (Baldwin 98). The narrator was a witness as, "they all gathered around Sonny and Sonny played. Every now and again one of them seemed to say, amen. Sonny's fingers filled the air with life, his life. But that life contained so many others. And Sonny went all the way back . . . Then he began to make it his. It was very beautiful because it wasn't hurried and it was no longer a lament. I seemed to hear with what burning he had made it his, with what burning we had yet to make it ours, how we could cease lamenting" (Baldwin 99).

Just as the narrator was soaking wet at the beginning in school, Sonny is now soaking wet at the end of his performance. The difference was that the narrator was wet due to attempts to bottle his emotions inside and Sonny is wet from the now unconfined emotions he set free. The narrator may not have approved of Sonny’s lifestyle, he soon learns that one can take a different road in life and still come to the same result.

Sipiora, Phillip. “Sonny’s Blues.” Reading and Writing about Literature. Pearson Education, Inc, 2002. 79-99.

Awareness of Life

For hundreds of years, women have struggled with unrealistic ideals imposed unremittingly upon them. In “Yellow Woman”, Silko scrutinizes the domination of women and their roles as viewed within society. The young Pueblo woman feels compelled to flee the security of her monotonous life. Her role as a traditional passive woman begins to redefine with a fortuitous encounter.

Our modern society believes only in ideas for which we have substantial evidence to support. Now that the young Pueblo woman is educated, she does not have faith that the story of Yellow Woman, as her grandfather had told, could be true for her. She thinks to herself, “Eventually I will see someone, and then I will be certain that he is only a man - some man from nearby - and I will be sure that I am not Yellow Woman” (Silko 189). When Silva says to her, “Last night you guessed my name, and you knew why I had come”, she begins to doubt her previous thoughts as to whether she may be Yellow Woman (Silko 188). Awareness slowly begins to link the past and present; she contemplates what is happening now to the way things happened in the stories long-ago. With this newfound realization, she begins to conquer the more traditional submissive roles and expand into a more assertive individual.

Now that she perceives herself more as the Yellow Woman, she recognizes that she can decide her own fate instead of the traditional roles society has given women. She does not feel compelled to leave with Silva but desires to be with him. Silko seems to portray the young Pueblo woman as being fearful of him at times, when this fear is actually displaced feelings of abandonment of her more traditional roles. As seen when she thinks to herself, “I was afraid because I understood that his strength could hurt me. I lay underneath him and I knew he could destroy me. But later, while he slept beside me, I touched his face and I had a feeling – the kind of feeling for him that overcame me that morning along the river” (Silko 191). She is not ashamed of the new reality she has grasped with this enigmatic stranger. She remembered that she meant to go home, “but that didn’t seem important anymore” (Silko 191).

As she comes to terms that she is more like Yellow Woman and has a broader range of opportunities than she realized, she begins to think less of her family and more of her recent distinction of herself. She has several chances to return home but each time she missies the chance and chooses to stay. “There are enough of them to handle things. My mother and grandmother will raise the baby…..Al will find someone else, and they will go on like before” thought the young Pueblo woman (Silko 191). From these thoughts came a realization that she is more than the social traditions of a mother and wife. When she finally sees the white rancher, she has her proof that Silva is not the ka’tsina spirit.

The woman is sad when she finally does leave Silva after the confrontation with the rancher. After coming to the fork in the road, she chooses the route back to her home thinking, “I went that way instead of uphill to the mountains because I thought it was safer” (Silko 193). When she is at the river, thoughts flooded back to her of Silva and she longed to return to the mountains to find him again. She has faith that “he will come back sometime and be waiting again by the river” (Silko 193). This faith allows her to reunite with her family and normal life, but she still has control over the decisions she makes in her life.

Sipiora, Phillip. “Yellow Woman.” Reading and Writing about Literature. Pearson Education, Inc, 2002. 187-193.

Foolish Pride

Before Jack London wrote, “To Build a Fire”, he went on an expedition for gold in the Yukon Territory (Wissdorf). However, after spending a winter in a cabin located in the Klondike (and finding no gold), he struggled to survive, suffered from scurvy, and gained a wealth of material for his future writings (Wissdorf). During London’s education, he became disheartened with the academics; he felt that both the students and professors were missing genuineness (Wissdorf). These events helped influenced London’s writing. The unidentified man in Jack London’s “To Build a Fire” has an unremitting risk of freezing in the harsh cold of the Yukon Territory. Before long, sheer attempts for survival overshadow his obsession with finding gold. The hostile surroundings will not provide any assistance; equally, his dog is not concerned about what happens to him, but only about his own survival. As he attempts to shield himself from nature, his concentration for survival intensifies and the battle between instinct and intellect begins.

From the beginning, the man is uneducated to the consequences of the harsh conditions of the Yukon. His aloof attitude will trigger regrettable consequences. He considered that, “The tremendous cold, and the strangeness of if all – made no impression on the man….Fifty degrees below zero meant eighty-odd degrees of frost. Such fact impressed him as being cold and uncomfortable, and that was all” (London 149). He disregarded the old-timers warning at Sulphur Creek regarding the merciless conditions, believing “Any man who was a man could travel alone” (London 154). He failed to see the implication when there had not been any travelers in a month along the trail. In addition, he disregarded his own frostbitten cheeks stating, “What were frosted cheeks? A bit painful, that was all; they were never serious” (London 151). This man was indeed deficient when it came to the instinctive insight of what the countless facts implied.

Throughout the story, the man demonstrates his intellect as he uses matches to build a fire, recognizes how cold it is through temperature readings, and pinpoints where he is located through use of a map. Yet the dogs’ instinctive nature knows the threats the cold presents and to remain warm by burrowing into the snow. Though the dog may not know its location on a map, it is able to track down through scents from a camp not far away. The dog was anxious about the cold, “The dog had learned fire, and it wanted fire, or else to borrow under the snow and cuddle its warmth away from the air… and expected the man to go into camp or seek shelter somewhere to build a fire” (London 150). When the man stops for lunch and gets up from the fire, “The dog was disappointed and yearned back toward the fire. This man did not know cold” (London 152). Through innate insight the dog knows the cold is treacherous, knows the spring is dicey, knows to gnaw at the ice that develops between its’ toes, and knows to stay far enough away from the fire to escape being singed. Contrary to this, the man’s intellect disappoints him.

The consequence of the tremendous cold causes the man’s fingers to go numb were he is unable to function with the matches accurately. He now cannot operate the matches nor his knife which make both tools ineffective and his intellect futile. He should have predicted that building a fire under a spruce tree would bring substantial consequences. The dog even senses when the man is deceitful and trying to kill it. Fittingly, only the dog survives and intuitively knows to go “in the direction of the camp it knew, where were the other food providers and fire providers” (London 158). We all should take accountability for our actions if we can predict probable conclusions.

Sipiora, Phillip. “To Build a Fire.” Reading and Writing about Literature. Pearson Education, Inc, 2002. 149-158.

Wissdorf, Reinhard. Jack London International. Weblication. 1999. 17 February 2007
http://jack-london.org/main_e.htm>

Analysis Of "The Dead"

James Joyce’s’ use of symbolism and allusions are literary techniques used to compel readers to take what seems to be an ordinary story and obtain deeper meanings contained in the story. Joyce’s “The Dead” represents Gabriel’s constant struggle to redefine his character regarding his patriotism, interactions, and relationship with both the living and the dead. “In this way the story transcends its mimetic surfaces and moves towards an ambivalent, paradoxical, and yet unifying symbolism that make it a prime example of modernist art” (Loe).

Gabriel has internal issues regarding his patriotism that the reader cannot immediately see. From his opening conflict with Miss Lily, Gabriel discovers that he has difficulties with his self-assurance and how others may perceive him. It seems that his offering of a coin to her was a way to make him feel better about the situation, considered that he had felt that he failed in his attempt at conversation with Lily. “Then he took a coin rapidly from his pocket. “O Lily, he said, thrusting it into her hands, it's Christmas-time, isn't it? Just... here's a little...” (Sipiora 298). “Beneath such minimal action exist the real structural dynamics of the story's rich design: the complex series of images and allusions, unified through Gabriel's subjectivity and given meaning through interlocking associations and repetitions” (Loe).

As the story progresses Gabriel finds that he is dancing with Miss Ivors, and during the course of the dance, she questions his loyalty to his country. “Why should I be ashamed of myself?' asked Gabriel, blinking his eyes and trying to smile” (Sipiora 303). Miss Ivors appears to be sarcastic in her judgment but Gabriel truly feels that she is being antagonistic and offensive. Gabriel’s insecurity in himself and his beliefs lead him to this conclusion. “When their turn to cross had come he was still perplexed and inattentive. Miss Ivors promptly took his hand in a warm grasp and said in a soft friendly tone: Of course, I was only joking.” “Distinct stages in the story develop with increasing intensity Gabriel's uneasy preoccupation with the connections between Ireland and himself” (Loe). At this point, the conversation turns to Gabriel’s travels abroad upon mentioning his desire to travel away from Ireland Miss Ivors again goes on the attack. “And haven't you your own land to visit, continued Miss Ivors, that you know nothing of, your own people, and your own country” (Sipiora 304)? Gabriel’s discontent with himself and utter disbelief in himself is also reflected in his relationship and marriage with his wife.

“The claim that much of Joyce's artistry depends on suggestion and implication is well supported by the story's culminating scene in the hotel room” (Loe). Gabriel’s discovery that he had overestimated his relationship with his wife leads him down the path towards the end of himself, as he knew himself to be. Gabriel soon learns of his wife’s distant lover when tears come to her during a song played from her distant past. In Gabriel’s discussion with his wife, he realizes that she will never feel for him what she felt for her other lover. In turn, Gabriel feels that he can never be the lover that she longs for. In Gabriel’s mind, he thought “So she had had that romance in her life: a man had died for her sake. It hardly pained him now to think how poor a part he, her husband, had played in her life” (Sipiora 321). Gabriel’s’ transition was beginning; his love for his wife was dying. “His own identity was fading out into a grey impalpable world: the solid world itself, which these dead had one time reared and lived in, was dissolving and dwindling” (Sipiora 322).

Gabriel’s interactions and relationships climax at the annual gathering leading him to the realization of his true self. His self-doubt and inner confliction tear him apart, ultimately leading to the end of the person that he believed he was. “His soul swooned slowly as he heard the snow falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the living and the dead” (Sipiora 322). The Christian belief of death involves the resurrection of the soul and in “The Dead” we are witnessing the death of one mans soul and resurrection upon a new day. “Above all else, the story demonstrates Joyce's ability to invest common events with an uncommon significance and to make an intensely private experience universally emblematic” (Loe).

Sipiora, Phillip. “The Dead.” Reading and Writing about Literature. Pearson Education, Inc, 2002. 297-322.

Thomas Loe, "The Dead: Overview" in Reference Guide to English Literature, 2nd ed., edited by D. L. Kirkpatrick, St. James Press, 1991.

A Boy's Spiritual Journey

Life involves struggles between religious and romantic ideas. People become overwhelmed with feelings especially at young ages that they are unable to realize or make of any sense. The struggle in James Joyce’s “Araby” revolves between a confused boy’s religious interest and romantic devotion.

The narrator begins the story describing the street in which he resides with an ominous feeling. He sees, through blind eyes, what we have all experienced: the cold, hard reality of life. Through the eyes of the young narrator, life seems gloomy in the descriptions that portray his surroundings that Joyce uses throughout the story. The silent street where the boys play is described as being dark, with dark homes, dark muddy lanes, dark dripping gardens, dark odorous stables and odours arising from ash pits.

The first mention of light into this boy’s existence is when the light of the half-opened door defines Mangan sister’s figure. She is the light that he has yet to experience. She is representative of what he now searches to find. We can all relate to the young man’s experience; we idealize someone in our images, becoming obsessed with those experiences and soon everyday life becomes consumed with the images and thoughts of this one person. “Yet her name was like a summons to all my foolish blood ” (Sipiora 38). While on a trip to the market with his aunt, he imagines on this trip with the help of her image, that he carries a trophy safely through a crowd of enemies.

“Her name sprang to my lips at moments in strange prayers and praises which I myself did not understand” (Sipiora 39). The words that Joyce uses to describe the way he feels of her, confused adoration, perfectly describes this young man’s thoughts. He is puzzled as to whether his feelings are of love, admiration, idolization, or even worship. This story has strong underlying religious tones. As the boy goes to the back drawing room where the former owner (a priest) died, it almost seems like an altar. In the drawing room where the boy masturbates, it seems that Joyce wanted to describe this scene as if the boy were merely doing a prayer of worship. “All my senses seemed to desire to veil themselves and, feeling that I was about to slip from them, I pressed the palms of my hands together until they trembled, murmuring: `O love! O love!' many times” (Sipiora 39). Joyce makes us wonder as if the boy is unable to differentiate between sexual and religious feelings.

Once Mangan’s sister spoke to him about the upcoming bazaar and his promise to bring back some trinket for her, he is overwhelmed with images of her through the endless days until the bazaar. The thoughts of the upcoming bazaar possess his schoolwork, and then everyday life soon became child’s play. After much delay, the night of the bazaar arrives and his mission was about to begin. Once his drunken uncle arrived late, and with time pressing, he was finally on his way to the bazaar. He endured another delay in his mission with the train leaving the train station. He was alone in this special train due to the porters turning away a crowd at the station that wanted to board, as if this trip he needed to go alone.

At last, he arrives at the sign displaying the magical name. He rushes around looking for a sixpenny entrance but giving up patience and paying instead a shilling. Here like before in his life was darkness that surrounded the hall but also a silence like a church after service. As he went up to one of the stalls he found it hard to remember his purpose of coming to this bazaar in the first place. While he was standing in the middle of the hall, with one side of him in the light and the other side in darkness, a sudden realization occurred to him; he saw himself as he gazed to the darker side as a creature driven and derided by vanity, someone who took pride in themselves with a self-importance and egotism. He felt sorrow that he acted this way.

The ending finally reconciles the religious undertone throughout this story. My interpretation of this story was that the darkness that was lurking around everywhere was evil and temptation and that the light was salvation and reference to God. In the beginning of the story the boys life Joyce uses references of the “dark” to show the boys blindness to the reality of life’s temptations. His confusion with thinking Magan’s sister is the “light” causes him to misjudge his feelings both sexual and religious. “Gazing up into the darkness I saw myself as a creature driven and derided by vanity; and my eyes burned with anguish and anger” (Sipiora 41). The boy was blind to the temptations of the world but now he can see clearly.

Sipiora, Phillip. “Araby.” Reading and Writing about Literature. Pearson Education, Inc, 2002. 38-41.

The Consequences of His Past - A look at Babylon Revisited

We always pay for the consequences of our actions even though we often do not realize when they will be, or what the price may be. Even a year and a half later after the stock market boom, Charlie is still confronting his consequences head on. Charlies’ constant struggle with alcoholism has made a profound effect on his personal life, relationship with his family, and his strive to regain custody of his daughter. It is evident with his trip to Paris that Charlie is still battling alcoholism by first visiting an old refuge, the Ritz bar.

During the 1920’s, the Ritz bar was a trendy hot spot, where Charlie and his old drinking friends consorted together. At the bar while reminiscing of old times with the bartender, Alix, Charlie jots down his in-laws address on a note that he leaves for his old drinking friend Duncan Schaeffer. Whether this was an unconscious or conscious decision on Charlie’s part, it shows that he is still reluctant to let go of his past. Even Charlie’s’ philosophy of just having one drink a day to keep drinking in proportion makes you question his ability to continue to keep it under control. Fitzgerald wrote the story in a way that shows Charlie’s detachment with reality. While Charlie is engaged in a conversation his mind will wander to distant memories, always seeming to relate to his experiences associated with alcohol. His past is beginning to consume his purpose for coming to Paris, to regain connection with his family.

Charlie so desperately wants to regain custody of his 9-year-old daughter, Honoria, whom he has not seen since he was in the sanitarium. When Alix, the bartender, cried out “Oh-h! You have a little girl?” it was evident that Charlie did not speak about his daughter during any of his frequent visits in his drunken days (Sipiora 7). When Charlie first sees his daughter, she is very enthusiastic about their reencounter. One can see Charlie’s regret in regards to missing time with his daughter in his statement to her. “I want to get to know you,” he said gravely. “First let me introduce myself. My name is Charles J. Wales, of Prague” (Sipiora 9). While reclaiming his relationship with his daughter, Charlie also had to find a way to gain approval from his in-laws, Marion and Lincoln Peters.

During the first visit to the Peters’ home, Charlie mentions that his income now is bigger than when the stock market boomed. During conversation, he declared that his drinking only got out of hand during this boom. This begins the questioning of Charlie’s character, as to whether he will go back to his old days now that he has regained his fortune. There is a bitterness that the Peters’ hold against Charlie, for when he was throwing money around in his drunken days they were watching theirs and struggling to get by. When Charlie mentions his newfound philosophy on his drinking, Marion struggles to put aside her prejudice feelings. Just as his attempts to persuade the Peters to let Honoria go live with him were about to succeed, Duncan and Lorraine come crashing in. Charlie seems outraged on this intrusion in his life, yet he was the one that was ultimately responsible. If he had not left the letter for Duncan at the bar then Charlie and his daughter would be heading back to Prague for the start of their new life. Since he never released his drunken past, he has ruined for the time being any hopes to regain custody of his daughter in the eyes of Marion. As he came closer to the life that he wanted, Charlie began to realize his old drunken hangouts and friends no longer allured him

On a trip back to his hotel one night Charlie was walking by an old meeting place and popped his head inside, but immediately thought, “You have to be damn drunk” (Sipiora 8). Wishing that he had instead spent more time and money on the cheap restaurants versus the five course meals, he felt remorseful that he did not get a real opportunity to experience Paris. It is not a question whether Charlie was regretful of his past and his genuine interest in turning his life around but whether he could turn it around and release his past to do so. In the end, he is back to where he started, in the Ritz bar. Fitzgerald leaves us wondering if Charlie will be able to maintain his willingness to change or if he will resort back to his old ways since he failed in his attempt to gain back his life.

Sipiora, Phillip. “Babylon Revisited.” Reading and Writing about Literature. Pearson Education, Inc, 2002. 6-19.

Do we every truly know who we are?

Do we every truly know who we are? Life is a mystery that uncovers clues everyday. I can tell you a little of what I know so far. Twenty-six years ago, I started my journey in Stone Mountain, Georgia to where I recently ventured to a smaller town of Gray, Georgia with my husband of three years. You could say we have a big family, no children yet, but we do have five dogs and one lazy cat. We meet six years ago on the internet, if you can believe that. The forty-five minute drive that separated us became a true test of our love when we would sit in traffic on I-285 in rush hour to see each other. It was worth it though! Once married we decided to move closer to Milledgeville, so my husband could pursue his career opportunity and passion as an Outboard Marine Engine Technician. Currently as an insurance agent, I have been sucked into the abyss known as GEICO for the past three years. Some people define themselves with their careers, hobbies, social statues or even their families. I do not think that one given thing sums up who we are. Things I like to do can be reading, photography, antiquing, and sometimes-outdoor activities with my husband (if I am dragged along). Seriously, I do enjoy the outdoors, for different reasons than my husband though. He may enjoy sitting in a tree stand waiting for that big buck to come along, but I enjoy the calmness and escape from reality with a good book in the tree stand. Here is some irony for you. My earliest memory of “What I want to be when I grow up” was in the fifth grade. Math was my strongest subject and still is to this day. Therefore, I decided that I wanted to become an accountant. The worst job I could imagine in my eleven-year-old mind was teaching! Who in their right mind would want to put up with these bad kids everyday and were paid lousy! I thought teaching would be an unrewarding career due to the way we treated teachers. These thoughts only got worse the further I went in my education. Just these past few years has my opinion be changed. With more passion than I have felt for anything else in my life, teaching brings out an excitement and enthusiasm in me. How crazy is life that the one thing that I though I would die if I had to do, now I would die regretting never had the opportunity to do it. Even though this is just a taste of “Who I am”, everyday brings more exploration and gets me closer to the mystery of life.